The First Park! - Open

[lil_tanuki]

Clearly the Duck is having fun with you people today.

WELCOME TO HAPPY WORLD LAND, the happiest place on earth!

There's plenty to see, the rides, the games, the Stairway to Heaven, the Bullet Train to Heck, all of it. Ride the monorail and visit the place. Lodging is free, food is free.

This is the Duck bringing you all to the world like it or not.

For a week, you'll all experience the joys of Happy World Land!

Comments

[moonoveralola]

And now there's a small child looking up at you.

"It's not that bad," she says meditatively. "They have funnel cake."

Just to demonstrate, she holds out a paper plate that does, indeed, have funnel cake on it.

"Wanna try some?"

Moon is a great believer in the healing powers of fried dough.

[outofthemanor]

"What is the funnel for?"

Yeah, that is a perfectly reasonable question for her to ask. Especially considering she doesn't actually like overly sweet things. Not many Addams do.

[moonoveralola]

"They use it to squeeze the batter right into the frying oil!"

[outofthemanor]

"...That does not answer my question." It didn't, not really.

[moonoveralola]

"The funnel is for squeezing the batter?"

Moon is not entirely sure how else to answer this question.

[outofthemanor]

"I'm not fond of sweet things."

[moonoveralola]

"Okay!"

Oh good. Moon wasn't sure how to handle the conversation if it had stayed on that track.

"Wanna meet one of my giant bugs?"

[outofthemanor]

That gives some pause for consideration.

"How giant?"

[moonoveralola]

"Umm...Good Mom is almost six feet tall? And Tartare is about eight feet."

Her naming sense is...unique.

[outofthemanor]

"What type of bugs are they?"

[moonoveralola]

"Dunno? They're from Ultra Space, so they're alien bugs."

A slight pause.

"They're real good at punching stuff, though! And Good Mom is, like, super pretty!"

[outofthemanor]

It could prove interesting at least.

"May I see them?"

[moonoveralola]

Moon nods cheerfully and draws out a pair of balls - dark blue, covered with a lighter blue grid and four raised yellow ridges - and opens them up.

Tartare is like someone decided to combine a mosquito and a body builder...and from the way his massive, transparent muscles bulge as he flexes, it becomes obvious the liquid sloshing around inside them is blood.

Good Mom, on the other hand, is quite simply a figure of dazzling beauty, staring down at Wednesday from her large, alien eyes. It's a bit startling to see such strangely human eyes set in the face of what is unmistakably a bipedal white cockroach.

"See? Aren't they great?!"

[outofthemanor]

Wednesday considers both of the creatures, eyeing them in her own careful way.

"Yes," she agrees.

[moonoveralola]

Moon beams. She gets it!

A passing group of park-goers stare at the bugs with wide eyes. Tartare flexes at them, while Good Mom ignores their existence entirely.

"Good Mom hates being touched, and Tartare communicates by flexing! I know a few of his words, see?"

Moon strikes her own bodybuilder pose.

"I'm pretty sure this means 'good for you'! Or maybe I accidentally started dating him? It's a little hazy."

[outofthemanor]

"Perhaps a territorial claim?"

Wednesday will need to study Tartare, in an attempt to learn the language.

[moonoveralola]

"Well, he likes this pose, so if I was accidentally claiming his territory I don't think it'd work the same? But maybe he just likes having girls telling him where he can't go!"

Reaching out with one hand, Good Mom delicately picks up her Beast Ball as if she's touching something mildly unpleasant and triggers it, returning herself. That's enough of this filthy planet for her, thank you.

"You wanna go look at the people riding the Slap Happy Fun ride? The operator promised I could feed their blood to Tartare!"

[outofthemanor]

She looks amused at the reaction of Good Mom. Though she can't say she blames her - if Wednesday had the option of hiding someplace else, she may well take it. Especially somewhere dark and cramped, like the Beast Ball was sure to be.

"A ride that allows you to feed people blood?" That sounded interesting.

[moonoveralola]

"Yeah! It just sort of -" Moon slams her hands together in demonstration "- smashes people into the ground like that?"

There's a pause as Moon puts Good Mom's Beast Ball back into her purse.

"So I can have all the blood that comes out of them as long as I'm willing to pick the teeth out."

[outofthemanor]

"It would be interesting to watch."

She could appreciate a violent ride.

[moonoveralola]

Still smiling fit to burst, Moon heads off, Tartare flying after her. She chatters a mile a minute as she walks.

"Tartare wouldn't mind if teeth were mixed in with his blood, 'cause he'd just dissolve them like everything else he eats? But, I dunno, it kind of feels like a waste to just let them go like that? So I thought I'd pick them out and give them to the lost and found."

[outofthemanor]

"A kind thought. They could make them into dentures." Dental health was serious business, after all. "Unless Tartare would receive needed nutrients from the teeth?"

[moonoveralola]

"He wouldn't get anything from them that I'm not already giving him!"

Moon considers.

"I mean, teeth are like little bones, right? I already give him some of those once a week, so he doesn't really need more."

[outofthemanor]

"Are you sure?" Wednesday glances at the beast in question. "Given his size he may need more than provided."

[moonoveralola]

"I think he's good? Plus I'm not legally allowed to let him liquefy more than one Chansey a week. They're only a little shorter than me but they've got really dense bones!"